Just to see how it feels, I start telling different people different life plans. Does it feel right when I talk about that possible future? How about this one? Just what is it that I want? The “yes” and “no” piles become more clearly defined as time ticks by.
I promised, what feels like more than a year ago but was really only at the beginning of September, to keep you up to date on how my post-graduation life was unfolding. It seems that there are a lot of details I’ve left out in between now and then. Probably for the best at that – it’s been a bit of a whirlwind of unfolded, undecided everything these past four months.
After more than a little hemming and hawing, job interviews in multiple cities, and a decision that I quickly revoke, home is still Victoria.
To start the year off right I take everything out of my kitchen cupboards, scrub them down, and put it all back. It seems like anything is possible after that. Tucked in the corner there is a shelf for my fermentation experiments (sauerkraut and water kefir on the go today) and my new turkish coffee pots hang on the wall above the stove. My heath pottery sits on shelves expectantly waiting to be used. For the first time since living in this suite, I’ll be cooking for myself. Not always of course – who would with the Murphy restaurant just one floor up – but mostly.
There are still a lot of unknowns, but there are a few things that are for sure: I work at Nourish, I now teach beginner capoeira on Monday nights, I will eat a lot of cabbage in the next few months, and I can’t buy caged eggs.
It was a moment of definition as I stood in front of the eggs at the grocery story. Last year, in France, it seemed okay to buy the cheap eggs. Maybe because I had faith the farm conditions weren’t so horrible. Maybe because the eggs were still about a zillion times fresher than the eggs we get here. Maybe because I chose to ignore the possibility of how the chickens were raised. But tonight I can’t do it. Tonight I buy the expensive eggs, cursing a little for having moral taste. I suppose it could be worse.